Today all the pressure to get married has been lifted. “Why?” you ask. Am I engaged and forgot to tell you? Have I decided that a life of committed monogamy without a ketuba would be meaningful enough? Have I left Judaism and become a nun?
No, no, and definitely not.
My parents came to visit this weekend and brought a gift to cover future and past major gift giving holidays. Mom went to Kohls and got me a Professional Kitchen Aid Mixer. It is red and has 12 Cups of Flour Power! And since you all understand that the Kitchen Aid mixer is the only reason to get married, the pressure is now off.
No need to spend $2000 on a dress, $4000 on a ring, $18,000 on caviar and champagne, $50 on a band… No need to learn how to properly budget a wedding, because I now have the ultimate wedding gift.
Of course, now that I own my condo and have a Kitchen Aid mixer, God will probably start laughing and send me my husband. (For the record, I’ll take the husband, please and thank you.)