Today I was gently reminded of something my supervisor at IES told me once. “Leah, if anyone ever decides they want to start criticizing you, you’ve given them an easy place to start. You have to be better about getting to the office, computer on at 8:30.” The deal was that I have a very good work ethic, so it can be hard for people to start a case against me. But when you are the same person that used to sleep through classes that started at noon… Needless to say, that case against me won’t be made again.
So I guess I’m resolving for the eight millionth time to divorce my snooze button. Sigh. I love my snooze button and the extra nine minutes of sleep it hands out time and again.
In other news, I’m feeling totally overwhelmed. I’ve quit taking modern Hebrew for at least the next 14 weeks. Between work (overwhelming) and studying for my bat mitzvah (overwhelming) and trying to piece together my finances with lots of things increasing in price on January 1 (overwhelming) and waiting for lightbulbs to get shipped (overwhelming) and vowing again to go to the gym every morning, never hit the snooze button, do my dishes every night…
It was just too much and the thing that gave is Modern Hebrew. I have 14 weeks to master some Torah. Which means only 15 weeks until I turn 30. Fifteen weeks to plan a trip to Israel that I simply can not afford to go on. ACK ACK ACK.
And on top of everything else, I just ate dry cereal for dinner because it is too cold to go to the store. Now I’m going to put a CD of my first aliya (torah portion) on repeat and listen to it until my brain goes mushy. Know what? Lots of people do this whole conversion thing without adding the stress of a bat mitzvah on the next year. And most people who arrange a bat mitzvah spend the last four month studying Torah and not modern Hebrew.
I’m going to go lie in the bed I made and try not to freak out.