After this post, I will strike the word overwhelmed from my vocabulary. I think using it is increasing my sense of being overwhelmed. I should know better, but sometimes I don’t. Like today, so for the next fifteen minutes or so I’m using it.
I’m totally overwhelmed.
I am in charge of a thing at shul. A small project, much smaller that most of the projects that my more capable friends run at shul. But it involves money, a warehouse, orders, delivery and fragile items. All of that is stressfull for me. I much prefer organizing a social potluck. Everyone is in charge of whatever they bring, so if you come, you bring, there is enough. Or going to a movie. Then everyone buys there ticket there. But this whole order form, bulk order thing… yuck.
Personal relationships are overwhelming to me right now. Writing assignments. Work travel. Laundry. Dishes. Meals. Electric baseboard heating. Shorts in the wiring. I feel like I’m careful not to say yes to too many things, but I seem to keep doing it. Then my fuse gets short and I get snappy. Perhaps I should hermit more often.
Last night I did force myself to go to a party for an neighbor. A few friends showed up, people were very friendly, and I got to eat a later dinner at Le Sabre. In reality, things are fine.
I get paid a check twice a month that doesn’t bounce. It covers all my expenses and allows me to give to JUF and my shul. I have a lovely little cat who keeps me company. I’m on the healthy side of things, as are my friends and family. I have many, many friends to call on when I’m stressed out and of course I have my family and my blogfriends.
Overall, my life is in the best place it has ever been. I own a condo. I’m Jewish. I live within driving distance of my family. I have great hot water pressure in my shower. I have a fantastic community at my shul that embraces me. I have lots of books. These things are not overwhelming.
And I am now officially retiring overwhelmed.