I’m sitting here, debating the level of anger and snarkiness I’m feeling vs what I’m willing to blog about. Dating karma is a bitch and Google cache means that nothing ever goes away.
I clearly need my dating radar fixed… I was entirely wrong. Not that anyone is surprised, I’m always wrong about these things. I started a list in my head last night of all my possible faults… which I didn’t blog, because I was certain that the silence had a reasonable cause.
But now I have reason to start the list. “It’s not you, it’s me” is never really true, is it? Too Jewish comes to mind first. That’s usually the biggest problem. Too Jewish for anyone that would consider my conversion valid. Why didn’t anyone warn me that nobody wants to date a liberal Jew by Choice?
Too tall. Cute, but not edgy or sexy. Nice, perhaps too nice. Too many curves. Wrong zip code. Too accomplished, which is ironic, because in the past I haven’t been accomplished enough.
I so very much wanted this to work out… not just because I want an “add water and enjoy instant” boyfriend, but because he was actually pretty great. He offered things I didn’t realize I was missing. He speaks my geeky internet language. He’s artistic with big visions and big ideas. Not satisfied by being a cog, but wanting to make a difference. He loves Chicago as much as I do. And he had really lovely eyes and good taste in music.
Apparently nobody swings a home run on their first Jdate, but I don’t think I’ll renew. I don’t want to get my heart crumpled over and over. I just don’t have that in me.