Common Questions (based on what people Google that gets them here)

1. How do I eat a pomegranate?

I don’t know, but this is the story of how I tried once. And here is a video about how NOT to eat one.

2. How many times do I dunk in the mikvah? What are the mikvah blessings?

You dunk three times and here are the blessings that I found and posted. And if you are going to mikvah for conversion, here is what I have to say about that.

3. What do red lights mean? What does it mean to put on the red lights?

Hookers. Red light districts are districts where you can find prostitutes. I wasn’t looking for a prostitute when I found myself in London’s Red Light District.

4. Is Ayn Rand Jewish? Is Mark Feurstein Jewish? Is Stephen King Jewish? Are the owners of Border’s Jewish? Is XKCD Jewish? Is anyone that I’ve ever mentioned on my blog Jewish?

Since the title of my blog has the word Jewish in it, every single person I’ve ever mentioned will have a result when you try to find out if they are Jewish.

5. How to say happy birthday in Jewish?

Jewish isn’t a language. If you mean Hebrew, then say, “Yom Huledet Sameakh.”

6. How much is ReBath?

My estimate was $1900, which I thought was too expensive. You should call a rep and get an estimate for yourself.

7. Can you tell if he’s circumcised?

Yes.

8. What is the prayer for wellbeing in Judaism?

You’re looking for the Mi Sheberakh.

9. Should I use match.com? jdate? single events in Chicago? speed dating in Chicago?

Ugh… stop rubbing it in. I’ve written about them all and I’m still single. *sob*

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